Big Ben’s FREE to go and will get help – but what about her?
News and Events — By Mia Jackson on April 12, 2010 at 5:32 PMby Mia Jackson
Long weeks have rolled by since we first heard the story: college student accuses Pittsburgh Steeler QB Ben Roethlisberger of “rape.” It’s such an angering, painful word but if it happened, that’s the exact feeling we should have about it. Georgia’s Ocmulgee County DA Fred Bright sounded like he was hoping he’d find a tad bit more evidence. Clearly, as he said, he didn’t have enough evidence to prove to a 12-person jury beyond a reasonable doubt that Ben committed the crime. “I know when I have a case,” Bright said while standing behind the podium to media the likes he’s probably rarely seen, if ever.
As we all know, there are three sides to every story, and we’ll never know the third story, or rather the honest truth. Both parties are likely to have their own truths about the evening that may or may not omit key points. What everyone knows for sure: she was drunk, he was drunk and there was some sort of sexual activity. According to ESPN’s interview with Roger Cossack, the young woman wrote a letter on March 17th saying that she no longer wanted to pursue this. “There’s all kind of reasons why a young woman may not want to go through this, said Cossack. He goes on to say, “they’re embarrassing, they’re humiliating, it’s pretty clear that she’d been doing a substantial amount of drinking,” as he shows how the DA would make this determination. At the bare minimum, it was a case of poor judgment. If she was forced against her will while under the influence of alcohol, all of a sudden it’s a completely different case. We don’t want it to be so. In our civilized country, we’d like to believe that it doesn’t matter if the woman was drinking or not. But it does – or else they wouldn’t bring it up every single time the subject is discussed.
“But something in the wash ain’t clean!”
This is certainly not to say that I know what happened or will even venture to guess. But I will say, as the old folks that I grew up around would always proclaim in a situation like this: “somethin’ in the wash ain’t clean.” Fans of the city and the much-loved team don’t want to believe that this could be so. Neither do I. But I also don’t want to believe that a heinous crime could be committed against a young girl and the perpetrator’s fame would prohibit her from seeking justice. Whatever the case may be, it just stinks to high heaven – every last bit of it.
Perhaps it’s impossible for me to see this from a neutral perspective. As the mother of a 20 year-old female college student, I couldn’t help but watch this story from that particular frame of reference. As such, I would also believe my child – I wouldn’t need airtight evidence. I hope that her family can get the young lady the support she needs as she tries to sort all of this out. We know that Big Ben will get his support. A full league of professionals including Commissioner Roger Goodell, Coach Mike Tomlin and The Rooneys will see to that; there’s too much money riding on his stability. With no Super Bowls riding on her sanity, I don’t know how it will turn out for her. But I’ll say a prayer.
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5 Comments
I hope that everyone involved will get the help needed. Nobody comes out unaffected in a situation like this, especially people who have nothing directly to do with the situation. Even if she is telling the truth, there are sooo many woman who falsely make claims of rape/abuse/assault, that she will always be called a gold-digger. If she is making a false claim then she will make it difficult for real victims to be taken seriously….
Not to get back on the Tiger Woods issues, because this is a separate case, but those females (can’t call them women and REFUSE to call them ladies) are setting a bad precedent. Because mistresses are now exploiting sexual relationships with these famous males/athletes/celebrities for a shot at 15 mins of fame most people will assume an assault claim is just another ploy for attention….
Now, on a side note, because of the other accusation against him, Big Ben will have to do some serious PR Damage Control, because the Rooneys are NOT happy!
From Anisa Latif:
It’s just a slippery slope at best – and unfortunately a story that’s been told too many times before. For starters – I’m an advent supporter of a rape victim – regardless of what’s she’s lead him to believe… When she says no – he’s to honor that. Now – that doesn’t give her free reign to use that whenever she’s embarrassed or ashamed of her actions. In the cases of celebrity events – I’ve quickly learned that I can’t always believe her even if she called rape – there are too many other factors that have tainted her innocence. I do have to hear all sides and draw my own conclusion – always ending if she says no – it’s a no-go no- matter-what! I echo your sentiment and my prayers go out to all the true victims – unheard and heard – in this age of casual sex groupism!
From Duru Ahanotu
You mentioned that we are sure some sexual activity occurred. Did Ben admit to that?
The whole thing is a royal mess and, once again, demonstrates how poor the law is for resolving these matters. The best medicine is preventive. Prevention of over-drinking and abuse alcohol, and moral standards that apply social/peer pressure to push people toward proper codes of behavior. Yes, very lofty ideals!
Other than that, these cases will always be vulnerable to abuse by any and all parties involved, and there will never be an optimal structure that equally respects everyone’s rights and privacy at the same time. It is truly a scary and sobering reality.
Interesting how Big Ben may still face sanctions from the NFL despite the fact no charges or convictions were achieved in this case, and Ben may never admit to doing anything wrong. It would be interesting to study/understand how effective the NFL’s codes are for policing behavior. That is, would things be even worse without the rules?
I should have added that I also speak from the perspective of having served on a jury of a trial for an accused serial rapist. It was an *eye-opening* experience. Everything from seeing how the government can amass the power of the purse and staff to burden the accused – to a jury full of imperfect people trying to determine “truth” from an incomplete set of facts and storytelling from people with competing agendas – to the varying ability of alleged victims to convey properly and convincingly their side of the story – to the difficulty of laying out “proof” beyond a reasonable doubt.
From Derrick Richardson:
No doubt there are indeed three versions to this story: his, hers, and the truth. If I remember correctly Ben did admit to some sort of sexual contact taking place. That’s enough for me. Something does indeed stink. Badly. Something tells me there will be another “incident”. In my opinion, Ben is in the wrong regardless of what went down. This guy has a problem. Let me play devil’s advocate. A plausible (though not necessarily true) scenario is that she targeted him. His even being in that situation was the equivalent of him painting a target in bright red paint with the words “Aim Here!” on his backside. Why would somebody in HIS position put himself in THAT position? YOU are the star (2 time!!) super bowl winning QB. YOU are the role model that my two little boys are looking up to. YOU should NOT EVEN give someone a chance to pin some stupid stuff like that on you. This is not the first time a woman has accused him of sexual impropriety, so why didn’t Ben learn his lesson and refrain from screwing around with a drunk college-age woman? The sad truth is that yes, Ben gets to go and get “help” and continue to cash million dollar paychecks for throwing around a pressurized leather sack. He gets to fall into the embrace of his handlers and the comfort of his bank account. She gets to be embarrassed. If he was a normal every-day citizen working at Target or Jack N’ The Box, or behind a desk earning his living from 9 – 5, he’d be looking at a vastly different fate. The irony in all this is that Goodell will aggressively protect the NFL’s financial investment, continuing to extract maximum monetary value from Steeler ticket sales and #7 jersey revenues, while (very likely) coming down on him for “damaging the reputation of the NFL” REGARDLESS of the outcome of the legal process. I predict Goodell is going to slap him with a suspension at the very least, but won’t banish him forever. Just ask another QB who wears #7 in Philly.
Where should I start? I do honestly believe that’s he’s getting an easy pass and I’m not saying this because I 100% believe the young woman in question but I do hold him accountable on certain things. The rumors( and they are indeed rumors until they are proven) I’ve heard include roofies and underage drinking which if true he should be responsible for. What’s this I hear of the bodyguard going into the bathroom with the young woman, then he followed? It sounds very messy and he shows lack of control on his part. I’m pretty sure he’s probably paid her tution and family off but he should sit for 6-8 games. I’m hesistant to use the race card but the NFL is making it hard not to. Rape isn’t something to play with and I’m well informed that some young ladies cry wolf but this isn’t his first charge. I do detect certain media outlets “protecting him” as in the way they decribe him. Certain wors like “this young man” or “wrong place, wrong time” and I think to myself when has an offender or accuser of rape every been made to seem like a victim? I hope all parties in this particular case gets help, but if he in fact did assult this young woman we will never know because she’s probably scared to talk. Just my thoughts.